Dear Kevin,
My Will.
Okay, I don’t have much, granted. However, there are a few things I’d love to give away.
1) Mom, Dad, don’t leave my room there. Move on. Build a sanctuary place there, a place that’s peaceful with plants and maybe a little indoor waterfall. Something to remind you of the meadow.
2) Any and all of my music goes to Emalyn. Period. No question. We go through the same stuff, I want her to have my iPod, mp3, whatever I have. It’ll give her a piece of me and also gives her a way out of this world for awhile.
3) Anything Gabrielle Abigail Suissa wants of me, she gets. I don’t care if it’s a picture of my grandmother, give it to her.
4) My clothes should be donated to charity. I really want that.
5) If I’m not too messed up, give away my organs. I wanna go out a hero to someone’s family.
6) Mom, Dad, get out of the state. Out of the country, even. Take a trip somewhere like Paris or Italy. You both need a change of scenery desperately. Dead or alive, trust me, take the vacation.
7) Grandmom’s breast cancer bracelet stays on me when I go. I want it there with me, protection from evil.
8) Books can go to Allison if she’s old enough, or Anna.
9) If you do give me a funeral, you better have some good ass food. :)
Dear Everyone,
If you are reading this, I am dead or dying. I’m terribly sorry If I have caused any of you emotional pain over my years, and if I ever do die young, I want you all to know what I think of you. Sometimes I’ll write one letter to one person a day, other days maybe 3 or 4. Please all know that:
1) If I commit suicide it is NOT your fault. It is mine for not staying strong enough. Nothing any of you could have ever done.
2) If I die in a freak accident and my body is all weird looking, Please have me cremated and spread across a meadow in the mountains. It’s so serene there, and I always love nature. It’ll be like Rue’s Lullaby: Deep in the meadow, under the willow, a bed of grass, a soft green pillow. That’s what I would want.
3) If I die of cancer or a disease, do the same thing. I want to feel free in the wind. I believe in letting spirits soar. Do not have a big funeral. No fun, too many tears. You could all gather around the meadow if you wish, laying wildflowers down nearby. Cry if you want to, but please understand it was meant to happen.
This is a what if blog. I have no idea what will happen in my life. Maybe I’ll live to be eighty and die in my sleep, peacefully. But if I die, I want everyone to know these words I speak.
